I Deserve This Break

I could be a millionaire by now if I had a dollar for every person who posted it’s their first time making a Seder this year, first time not traveling to a Pesach Program, or first time cleaning their home for chametz. Well let me just introduce myself and tell you that this is the first time I’m NOT hosting, I’m NOT cooking, and I’m NOT feeling guilty about it!

Most of my life I was at the Seder table with my family. My mom would cook most of the food and I’d enjoy helping a bit. It was an opportunity for spring cleaning and freshening up. When I got married, I became the Pesach host for my husbands extended family, given that as observant Jews we could not go to anyone else’s house but we could host it ourselves. We took the tradition from our mothers and began hosting. This year would have marked our 3 year anniversary in our home (4 years hosting) - and our first time that we won’t be with all of the family. It’s surreal and strange.

Passover and my husbands birthday always fall about the same time so he is accustomed to seeing everyone for his birthday. Cousins, parents, aunts and uncles... but this year it’s just us. He prepared food at his catering commissary and I cleaned the house. I can’t believe I got away with this.

I’m not saying this so you hate me. I just think that we all deserve our moment to breath and this is mine. I won’t have 18 place settings this year. I won’t make my own cake or soup in addition to his food. I turned my kitchen over 24 hours prior to Seder. Then we made schnitzel to celebrate.

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1L9VdDEeE7RMAI_ehMxOWkix5nvVh1ba0

And don’t get me wrong. It hasn’t been easy cleaning my house while chasing my kids around. It hasn’t been easy shopping under social distancing while also working from home. And it certainly hasn’t been easy staying up nightly until very late to fulfill last minute orders for my husband's company. But tomorrow when the sun goes down, it’ll be me and my husband, my kids and my mom. We will be the smallest Seder I’ve ever been part of for the first time, and hopefully the last time.

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